Friday, October 15, 2004

Administrative post

To everyone who has sent me personal emails over the last couple of weeks...thank you so much, I really appreciate the communication. I'm not ignoring you, I'm just trying to concentrate on work at the moment, considering the fact that I was ill for weeks prior to my holiday and just thinking about how behind I am on things that I'm supposed to do makes me panic and need tea which gives me a caffeine buzz which in turn makes me panic even more. It's a vicious, milky cycle.

Please be patient if you wrote me something that deserves a long reply - you'll get one as soon as either:

a) I figure out how to insert a 25th hour (and a 26th...why stop at one?) in my day.
b) My schedule frees up a little.

This weekend sees me at Stratford-upon-Avon for the season finale of Hamlet from the Royal Shakespeare Company. Yummy. Culture, men in tights (no, no, not the movie...actual men in actual body-hugging tights), English spoken beautifully, one of Shakespeare's better speeches, a two hour train ride through English greenness and the company of some loud, raucous Australians that will no doubt draw out my own Aussie drawl.

We've hired out an entire Inn for the weekend and have decided that this kind of situation requires some sort of pact ensuring debauchery. As such, there are plans afoot to crash the after-party of the play. My role is as the 'responsible yet sexy' female in the group that will do all the talking whilst my compatriots titter behind me batting eyelids and ensuring that chosen outfits appear to best advantage. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to say, as 'Hello, we'd like to come in, please.' is a little too obvious and I've not been trained in the not-so-subtle art of bouncer-massage as practiced by this island's inhabitants in places like Ibiza.

I've considered trying to pretend that we're a specially trained team of crack assault beauticians who will be on hand in case any paparazzi turn up or that we're actually the 'adult entertainment' for the night.

Both can, technically, be true.

Between the lot of us, I'm sure we could give a decent manicure and will be packing an entire department store's worth of emergency re-masking supplies just in case...ummm. Yes, well, I'm not one of those females that wears all the foundations or powders or blushers so I have no idea of the elaborate rituals that go on in the bathrooms, but I DO know that my girls will have enough to paint on an entirely new face for someone.

As for the other, well, we're also adults. And entertaining.

You see, I'd not consider actually lying to the bouncer. Oh, no.


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