Wednesday, June 02, 2004

What’s in a name…

I’ve googled myself. No, I didn’t take photos gentlemen – it was private.

I have therefore found that my name brings up:

• A porn star
• A librarian
• A second-rate romance novelist
• An actress so B-grade that MSN Entertainment doesn’t even deign to post her photo. Perhaps she’s the same as Monica White # 1, but trying to ramp up her career by getting into a movie ‘with dialogue’ (the sincere wish of a porn star I once saw interviewed – apparently she didn’t realize that her main talents were situated about 5 inches *below* her larynx)

This is slightly saddening. No intellectuals (bar the book cataloguer), no libertarian revolutionaries, no authors of any note (‘…she stared at his chiseled jowl as her body began to tremble…’ doesn’t count, people), no philosophers, no sports stars, no cool capitalist chicks.

Lots of references to MONICA Lewinsky in the WHITE House, though.


So far, everything has a link to sex in some way – even the librarian (there is a LOT of porn out there with women whipping their hair out of a bun, sliding the glasses off the nose and popping open the cardigan to reveal breasts that look like pudding bowls attached by Velcro.)

So, what to do?

Go against the tide? - Show that the trend ain’t necessarily true? Start looking like one of those creatures that have spent a tad too much time in the Ancient History department researching the impact of body adornments on cocktail parties in the mid-Holocene era?

Go with the tide? - Camden Town does a nice line in pinstripe corsets that would blend in with my suits.

I usually like to buck trends just to get a kick out of it. I don’t drift with the tide, the rudder is firmly in my grip, but this might be one trend that I’ll follow – if only to prove that ambitious, opinionated women can be just as sexy as the rest of them.

Now, can someone help me zip up these shiny PVC thigh-high platform boots? I’m late for a business meeting.

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