Wednesday, June 16, 2004

State-ments

They have a mission – should you choose to accept it.

Canberra – Australia’s paltry little answer to Washington DC has decided on a State slogan:

Canberra – feel the power.

Someone in the capitol’s been reading 1984 – and liking it. I know that beaurorats are creepy, pasty, power-hungry, tax-gnawing fiends. I know that they would prefer to have the lot of us in chains or Matrix-style battery tanks. What disturbs me is that now it seems the Canberrus Rattus knows it too. And knows I know it. And doesn’t seem to care. In fact, I’d not be surprised if they started wearing unisex uniforms with a hammer and sickle on the sleeve – the thought behind it being “They’re screwed anyway – what’s the use in hiding it anymore?”

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There is a long standing joke amongst Australians that Tasmanians are inbred. Tasmania also has a new State slogan:

Tasmania - Intelligent Island.

Because - as we all know - two heads *are* better than one.

To combat this obviously fallacious thinking, an official website for the state has a Q&A section seriously addressing the ‘Do Tasmanians have two heads?’ issue. Have lost the link somewhere, but it does give a definitive 'no'.

Good. Glad it’s official because I never was all that sure.

It’s a shame other governments don’t take the lead on that one, clear up common misconceptions, you know…

…President Putin’s website stating: “Vee do not all talkink laik zis, yes?”

…some southern American governor making international press statements to assure the world that everyone isn’t named ‘Jed’ and doesn’t sleep with their sister.

…or perhaps the Japanese government releasing statistics to prove once and for all that Japanese men are NOT small where it counts. Dammit.

I really see room for expansion of the government towards quashing common rumour. There could be a Department of Anecdote Correction implemented. What the hell, there's a Department for almost everything else.
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When the developed world’s economies are going to hell in a socialistic handbasket, I have to admit that I’m somewhat curious of the fact that beaurorats have the time to think up slogans for their states. I think I finally understand why it takes them so long to get anything done - they're in meetings to determine what colour the new logo should be.

Easier than cutting taxes and easing back on government spending, I guess.

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